South Asian Diaspora

“Being a south Asian is something I am personally very proud of, almost feeling like the need to be an ambassador for my culture and its customs in some ways, especially if it means I can influence people’s perceptions of my hometown or my people from the negative one they may be used to.”

Moving to a different country can be exciting and transformative, but also comes with its own set of challenges and adjustments especially for those who’s primary reason to move abroad is marriage, leaving them little or no choice to migrate.

“I got married and my husband lives and works here in the UK, so it was a given that I had to leave home. It’s an adjustment, you must take stock of your environment first and give yourself time to adjust, as its important to be able to maintain who you are at the end of the day but also make room for changes.”

As a result, migrating to another country can lead to a deeper exploration of identity, reflecting on the cultural roots, core values as well as how they might best fit with the new environment. A chance to celebrate and share the south Asian identity while also giving out the opportunity to embrace multicultural experiences that might come with living aboard. 

South Asian cultures are usually rich in traditions, values, and customs. Moving aboard means navigating through a new cultural landscape, which includes adapting to different social normal, communication styles and daily routines. “It is not uncommon for south Asians who prefer spicy food to find the flavors of British cuisine to be less spicy or in my words “bland.” South Asian cuisine is known for its spices and seasonings, “I miss the vibrant street food culture and mostly importantly the accessibility of it. Quick bites like   Samosas (friend pastry filled with spiced potatoes or meat), chaat (a savory snacks with various toppings) and Pani puri (crispy hollow puris filled with tangy water). 

In many south Asian cultures, particularly those influenced by religions such as Islam, there are cultural norms and religious teachings that prohibit the consumption of alcohol.  “I remember when I attended an official function, all I could see was everyone drinking around as their way to “socialize” and for me that term is otherwise known as a meal. “Hate to confess, but I ended up having a class of champagne just to fit in. “

Shifting to a different country often involves feeling overwhelmed by the differences. “When I first moved here what came to me as a culture shock was commuting in public transports. Back in Pakistan, I would always drive to places only because it would be unsafe for females to travel in public transports.”

Being away from friends, family and familiar surroundings can trigger feelings of homesickness. “it’s always a plus to have family around especially if you want to maintain some of our core values because family keeps you grounded. But I think at the moment, given my situation, it’s important to be able to sand on my own two feet with my partner by my side as we lay the foundations for the next few years.”

 Moving abroad as a married couple,  there is always a fear or a risk of losing out on your personal space. “It’s a scary and exciting adventure, it helps to be an adjustable person, it helps to be empathetic to yourself and to those around you. In my situation, I’d already had some hindrances in the whole process, so I was relieved when I was finally able to kick off the next stage of my life because the uncertainty felt worse.”

“Establishing my personal space was not my top priority to start off with but then I realized how I was subconsciously fighting for it in the little things. It’s been affected but it has also been enriched to an extent. 5 months down I do feel better about carving out little rituals for myself that allow me my personal space and at the same time, work out an entirely new way of life.”

Balancing individual needs and “adjusting to each other’s way of life is indeed a difficult task as we are two very opinionated people. Trying to establish a middle ground and create a new normal for the both of us. Wanting to do a lot more with our time together and trying to keep up with that.” This period of adjustment allows one to make a conscious effort to prioritize their relationship, a chance to grow individually and as a partnership and developing a deeper understanding of each other and the new would around you. 

Having a set routine or staying in touch with your roots is probably the best way to make you feel sane in a new environment. “Retaining values of my culture and my home country is what’s most important – but making sure to adjust and relearn where possible. I would facetime my mom or my cat at random hours or speak to my friends and get us all under one screen. 

Living in a new environment, can sometimes lead to a temporary loss of motivation.  “There have been times where I’ve just stared at the wall for hours doing nothing feel emotional while my husband travels for his official meetings, but I try to snap out of it as soon as I start to think about achieving goals that make me proud and people I care about proud.”

Unfortunately, racism and discrimination can be barriers to south Asian lifestyle in the UK. They might encounter prejudice, stereotypes, `or biased treatments, which can influence their opportunities to growth or even social interactions. tellmamauk.org, monitoring group published a report in 2020 stating the experiences of Muslim South Asian communities in the northeast of England, 70 per cent of respondents experienced daily or regular anti-Muslim racism and 75 per cent feel that the situation is getting worse. Muslim women are particularly targeted. 

“I believe the misconceptions have both become better and worsened in some ways and that just has to do with the way we receive our information these days. I have faced questions about how I can speak English so well, many times over the years, I’ve had people make light jokes about terrorism and then look at me in jest.”

 Experiencing discrimination can be a disheartening feeling. “I’ve had people underestimate my knowledge just because I’m from a third world country. I have mostly always just scrambled to make sure they have the right information – if someone keeps associating you with the stereotype, then I think it’s important to stand your ground and politely explain to them how it’s not alright with you. It’s not always easy, but it’s so important to represent yourself well in these moments. “This the reason why I have always felt this incessant need to represent my country in the best This way possible and make a mark as a person of my culture.”

However, at the same time “I’ve also worn my traditional dress on the streets and have people approach me in a positive manner with genuine appreciation.” While there is evidence to support discrimination against South Asian in the UK, it also depends on person to person and their perspective.

When moving to a different country, Individuals who are from the south Asian community tend to seek connections with others who might share similar cultural backgrounds and experiences, as they connections may provide a sense of belonging, support and understanding.  “I got in touch with people I knew from my time here before, both friends and family. I think it’s important to schedule time with family especially because you can build up the support system for your social and professional life as you go along (and it is important to do that!). I haven’t joined any specific groups or communities, but I count my existing family and my husband’s family as a community that helps me keep myself grounded or stay in touch with my roots.” 

Let’s not forget we now live in a world where technology can play a crucial role in helping south Asians stay connected when living abroad. “In this age of technology and social media, the best part is you can include people from 5000 miles away in your day-to-day life if you choose, so having calls set up with my friends or family while I make a home cooked meal is something that really helps me keep connected.”

For South Asians traditions and customs are deeply ingrained in their daily lives which can serves a strong connection to stay close to their roots when living aboard. “I also think the little things like getting takeout from a place that does Pakistani food, where you can interact with people who are also of the same culture does wonders for any feelings of homesickness that may come up for you.  Keeping up the same traditions/rituals I had back in my country to an extent (for eg. During Ramzan (month of fasting” or wearing shalwar kamiz(national dress code) on Fridays staying connected with my religion as it’s so deeply rooted in our country’s culture.”

If you’re a south Asian considering or planning to move abroad, it’s important to research and plan.  “I would advise that you need to be mentally prepared and make it as comfortable for yourself as you can, to start off with – you’re making a big change so it’s only fair you are easier on yourself. You should do your research about the country you’re moving to know the culture, the customs as it will be an adjustment. Ideally, if you can be able to visit the country before hand and familiarize yourself with the basic ways of life, it will be less of a culture shock.”

However, “You should know what your purpose is for moving abroad – maybe you had to do it for reasons such as mine but it’s important to know what your goals will be. That way you can make the best kinds of decisions and prioritize accordingly. For example: if someone is moving to a country to retire, their priorities will likely be finding a more peaceful part of the country to live in, with good medical services and an affordable cost of living whereas a person who’s moving abroad to settle into their married life and as a working professional may look at living more in the city center, with amenities and things to do close by.”

“If you can make contacts before moving abroad or get in touch with people, you know who are living in the city or country you are moving to – it gives you something to look forward and helps with the transition process. It also helps feed your sense of community value, as you have a support system off the bat.  I would also say, it’s very important to explore as much as you can when you move and get lost a few times to truly immerse yourself into the experience.”

South Asians and their experiences have provided valuable insights into their cultural and social norms that help them throughout the process of moving abroad.  Their strength of their diaspora networks serves as a support system to those families and individuals settling abroad.  For Anam, personally she thinks, “I feel the sense of belonging and community and being in touch with your cultural roots – those are things i can only feel fully satisfied in, back home. Here, there are other values (like working towards my goals or working on discipline!) that will automatically be more at the forefront.”

There is no doubt that the UK is a diverse country. “I think there’s a wealth of culture and customs and diversity which will only help broaden my mind in most ways but may have an adverse effect if I were to ever move back to Pakistan for example because I’d be used to a whole different kind of way of living.”